Are You Happy?
3 ways to increase your happiness in life, starting today
Dear younger Tom,
Do me a favour?
Don't overthink the next question, I want you to give me your gut instinct when it comes to the answer…
Are you happy in life?
I am going to guess for the vast majority of your life so far, the answer has been a resounding NO!
That's understandable.
You've been through a lot, life has thrown you it's fair share of curveballs.
But here's the thing, life is short and it will be over in a blink.
Do you remember as a kid, the endless days of summer when you used to sit in the garden reading the adaptations of William Shakespeare? Your mind bending to new perspectives and ideas.
There is one line that that feels particularly pertinent to the theme of this letter.
It is from Macbeth and it highlights just how fleeting life is.
"Out, out brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more."
So if life is so fleeting and is most likely to be over before you know it, my question to you is what are you doing with your time? Are you making the most of every second that you have available?
I know the answer is no.
So I wonder how you can change that to a 'Yes'?
I agree with Seneca when he said:
"Life is long if you know how to use it,"
So how to use it? Great question, glad you asked.
I read recently a study from the Office for National Statistics about some of the activities that increase happiness and I wanted to invite you to think about how you can do more of them in your own life.
The activities are:
Socializing
Exercising
Attending cultural events
Here's what I would be considering if I were you.
You don't have to limit it to just 3, if you can feasibly do more, do more - but make sure you don't overstretch your time/money in the pursuit of these activities.
Balance is key.
By the same token, if you only want to do one thing, then just do one thing. But throw yourself into that one thing!
If you do points 2 and/or 3, ask a friend or create a group to join you in your chosen activities - this automatically satisfies point number 1.
The power of socializing and its effects on happiness
The reason I've included this and have it at the top of my list is because you are a human and humans are hard wired towards socializing.
In fact it is the very reason why we have become the dominant species on our planet.
Humans are by no means the biggest; the strongest; the quickest; or the deadliest (pound for pound).
But how have we become THE premier apex predator to walk this earth?
By socializing and forming communities and groups. Strength in numbers.
It feels good to be part of a tribe, really good.
Conversely, it feels really bad to be isolated, it's simply not in our nature.
So I encourage you to gently explore how you can find your tribe and start having fun with others.
In future letters to you, I will be exploring ways to overcome shyness and social anxiety as well as offering some suggestions as to where you can go to make new connections and friendships, as I know this is often on your mind.
I am pretty sure it affects others to, so don't worry, you are not the only one affected by this.
How exercise helps me feel like a superhero
This one is easy to do but I am not going to pull any punches, you often make it out to be WAY harder than it actually is!
There is a simple solution and that is to follow the Nike motto and 'Just Do It!'.
Here's why.
The first, second and third reps in a set provide you with momentum, which then makes it easy to complete the rest of the workout.
Its getting your lazy ass to the gym and starting the first set that is your challenge.
I wonder what would happen if you creatively brainstormed ways to make it so easy and fun that you would almost find it impossible NOT to complete the workout?
Now there's a challenge for you!
Also, you know how sometimes you feel afraid and unsure about the future?
By working out, you start to feel invincible and I'll let you into a little secret… Girls will start to secretly start checking you out and giving you coy little smiles and finding excuses to start flirting with you.
On top of that, those guys who used to intimidate you, will now start giving you a bit more respect.
Trust me, it's a game changer and it is within your power to start achieving these results today, so what are you waiting for?
Getting all cultural and sophisticated
Now before you spit your drink out, I am not saying you have to become a boring and pompous arty-farty type who attends art gallery exhibitions pretending to know what they are talking about…
… but you might consider attending a consumer wine tasting that happens to be held in a cool hip art gallery or museum.
Sounds way cooler huh?
You never know, you might even have some eye-popping conversations…
I will never forget the day when I was running a wine tasting and I was chatting to an insanely beautiful lady about the wonders of Australian wines, when she leaned in and whispered seductively to me that she found my dulcet tones when discussing wine incredibly arousing.
Not quite expecting this turn in momentum of the conversation, I accidently lost my concentration as I was pouring her a fresh sample and duly missed her glass.
She smiled coyly at me as she licked the spilled wine off her hand and said to me with a glint in her eye, "now look what you have done, your making me wet".
I think I probably passed out at that stage.
Now dear boy, looking back, its safe to say that this is probably where my heart arrhythmia problems started…
So, sod the dating apps, get yourself to a wine tasting, socialize and get your pulse racing…
Just you watch your happiness levels soar!
Have fun and much love.
Older Tom
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