Dear Burnt-Out Me: It’s Time to Reroute
A letter to the version of me who thought exhaustion was proof of hard work.
TL;DR
😎What FREE subscribers get
A letter to younger Tom covering WHAT they need to do and WHY they should do it to avoid burnout.
😎What PAID subscribers get
Series of exercises and concepts discussing HOW to avoid burnout and increase happiness levels in your life
A personal reflection on how my values misaligned in a former job and led me to near heart failure
List of 15 questions to help you get clear on your own values and how they impact their choice of career and overall quality of life
Future Reflection Framework
Exclusive access to community CHAT to help discuss your answers and get inspired by the actions of others
Dear Younger Tom,
You’re burnt out.
It’s impossible to keep up this level of momentum—balancing a full-time job and going straight into ‘Dad mode’ on your days off.
You’ve tried this before. You know how that ended. Life will keep throwing curveballs until you either sit up and listen… or lie down and tap out completely.
So—what’s it going to be?
Which version of you does Miss Mollie need?
You think of yourself as a good guy. Someone who wants to keep everyone happy.
But how’s that working out for you?
Are your people-pleasing habits delivering joy across the board?
Let me save you some time: they’re not. You’re not keeping everyone happy.
In fact, most people who care about you want to shake you by the shoulders and say, “Sort it out.”
And the more pressure you feel, the more you double down—trying to prove them wrong, burning the candle at both ends, grinding away. But you’re working harder on the wrong things.
You’re not alone. There are hundreds—maybe thousands—of single dads doing the same. Holding everything together while slowly coming apart at the seams.
All with the best intentions. But the wrong approach. There’s truth in the old line: work smarter, not harder.
Otherwise, burnout will have the final word.
So what does smarter look like?
It starts with your values. We talked about this in a previous letter—go back and revisit it. That’s your springboard.
Knowing what matters most to you will give you direction. Purpose. A filter for every decision.
Now. Let’s talk about the uninvited houseguest who shows up every time stress levels rise... Money.
Beautiful when it’s flowing. Brutal when it’s not.
So let’s get real about earning more. Start by looking at your job.
Have you considered that the work you do doesn’t play to your strengths? That the reason you feel drained is because you’re stuck doing tasks that sit squarely in your weakness zone?
That’s why you hate it.
Not because of the company culture, or the people, or the daily grind. It’s not them. It’s you. You’re stuck in a role that drains you.
And after a long week in the trenches, bitterness creeps in. You start to resent everyone and everything. But deep down, you know next week will probably be worse.
So what if you found a role where your natural strengths got to lead? Where the work energized you?
Imagine it—really imagine it. What would it feel like to finish a day’s work and still have fuel in the tank? What if you woke up excited again?
I’m getting tingles just thinking about it. You too?
Here’s your permission slip.
To hope.
To believe the future could be different. Richer. Bolder. A little bit wild.
Like stepping into the M&M store in London—bright, buzzing, and full of possibility.
But you’ve got to dare.
No one’s going to open the door for you.
So…
Will you?
But listen—
If you’ve made it this far, something in this message clearly resonated.
Maybe you're recognizing your own exhaustion… or maybe you’ve just remembered you deserve better than survival mode.
Either way, this next part is where we move from reflection into action.
This is where the work really begins.
So if you’re ready to stop spinning in circles—and start building a life that matches who you really are…
👇 Upgrade to a paid subscription to unlock the next steps.
It’s not just more content—it’s your next right move.
Much love,
Older Tom
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How My Personal Values Were Misaligned in a Former Job
I left a great position in retail where I was the King of the Castle, having spent two to three years building up a fantastic reputation as one of the best wine merchants in the South East.