Life Is Too Short

And You Are Afraid To Live It To The Full

Dear Younger Tom,

The date is 11th August 2024 and Britain is rioting.

After a summer of discontent, the country has had enough and has reached boiling point and tensions have reached a violent stage. It is unknown if the troubles have peaked, I very much doubt it.

The reason I write this letter to you now, is to remind you of the fragility of life.

Depending on when you read this letter, you may either be living a life of complete joyful ignorance, or you may have come close to touching the void yourself.

You may even be by your daughter's bedside, in Birmingham Children's hospital, as she fights for her life, wondering if she will survive.

She will.

Life is fragile and life is short. I want to gently ask you, right now, to consider if you are squeezing every last drop out of your days on this precious earth.

The answer is simple: Yes or No.

So, what is your answer?

I happen to know what the answer is and I just wanted to remind you, it's understandable that you didn't answer yes.

More than likely, when somebody else reads this letter, they will have the same answer.

It's okay, there is still time to make a change.

Let's talk about the elephant in the room, the thing that nobody in public actually acknowledges, but everyone knows intimately.

Fear.

Fear is what is holding you back. Fear is what stopped you from saying yes. Fear is why you are unhappy in your life.

So let's have a chat about ways that we can reduce the impact of fear and I guarantee you will feel so much better afterwards, that you will have wished you could have opened up about it earlier.

That's right.

The main problem with fear is that it is like a demonic hydra. You cut off one head and two more take its place. Keep chopping and before you know it, there are twenty heads.

But chopping the head off is not how you kill a hydra. No, you do it another way.

But I digress…

The insidious nature of fear means that it creeps up into your life in may different ways.

Do you remember the following times?

• Experiencing stage fright for the first time in the school play in front of 250 adults when you were 11. You vowed never to step on stage ever again. Fear has stopped you in your tracks to avoid having to repeat the painful feeling of shame. 

• That day when you stepped up to the tee in your very first golf tournament aged 10 and missed the ball in front of all of your team mates and competitors. Everyone laughed and you wanted the ground to swallow you up whole. You later learnt that you were part of the only pair to lose their match in the tournament. At the awards lunch, none of your team mates would acknowledge you. I don't recall you ever entering another tournament ever again. Fear has stopped you in your tracks from ever playing competitively again.

• The time you were out in a club for the first time and you approached a ridiculously good looking girl and asked her if she wanted a drink… the withering look she gave you turned you stone cold. The words she uttered afterwards have haunted you to this day… 'Why would I accept a drink off a deaf guy, go away you loser!". It took a really long time before you plucked up the courage to talk to girls again. Fear stopped you in your tracks.

• All of the times you got rejected by businesses when you were selling wine B2B. This was one of the lowest points in your life and is the exact point in time when you discovered you have a life long fatal heart condition, all brought on by constant stress and non-stop drip feeding of adrenalin. Fear has stopped you in your tracks from ever doing this type of job again.

• Wondering how at 9 years old, you were supposed to be the 'man of the house' now that your dad had died. I mean fuck! How the hell were you ever supposed to live up to that expectation that had been heaped on your young shoulders? Fear has stopped you in your tracks because you don’t know the answer to this question. 

Fear has a lot to answer for.

Fear of rejection; fear of judgement; fear of mistakes; fear of the future; fear of anything.

It is ruling your life and you are not living to the fullest. It's a horrible place to be, waking up every day after a fitful night's sleep, wondering what fearful event lies around the corner.

Instead of getting out of bed, ready to tackle anything that comes your way, you do the opposite. You pull the covers up to your head and squeeze your eyes shut, willing it to be night time again so that you don't have to face your demons.

Every passing minute, that you lie in bed, the guilt ratchets up in the back of your mind, because you know you are avoiding the things that you need to face up to. Avoiding the inevitable.

You can't concentrate and the anxiety goes into overdrive. You drink a hot coffee, hoping that it will work its magic and give you incredible super powers. It doesn't work. 

As you look at your phone to check your emails, that feeling of dread creeps up over you for the tenth time and you realise it's not even 7.30am. Wow, what a great start to the day, isn't life just brilliant.

The toast you scoff down gives you indigestion because you are rushing, the sweetness of the jam gives you a fake and all too temporary high, so you have another coffee, the promised super powers still seeming to elude you.

Your late leaving the house. You don't want to open the front door and step into the scary world. You are afraid to live your life.

You sense a panic attack looming on the horizon. It's coming to get you. It's inevitable. The hydra's back and it's got more heads because you tried to cut some off yesterday.

But you didn't kill the Hydra. Nope, it's back and it's hungry for prey. You are it's prey.

You have a choice to make and you need to make it fast.

Do you run away or do you turn and face the demon? Do you face your fears head on?

It's your choice and the decision you make could determine whether the Hydra lives or dies.

You know the answer but your afraid to take action, but that is where your salvation lies. Action.

One of the greatest life lessons, that you will learn, I promise, is that any action is better than no action. But you have to learn to get comfortable with doing it and learning from the inevitable consequences.

Remember, not all consequences are bad! You just assume they will be negative because you are conditioned by fear.

Let me end this letter by encouraging you to have an awareness of what action you decide to take. Being aware of your situation is the first step and it will shrink the ferocious Hydra immediately. Do not underestimate the power of awareness and how it leverages your subconscious mind.

So be brave, feel the fear and  do it anyway.

You can beat this Hydra, I've seen you do it before and you will do it again.

I am here with you, you are not alone. You don't need to be scared.

Today, you decide to live bravely and face your fears.

Love

Tom

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