Set your goals from your values

so that you can start living your dream life right now

Dear younger Tom,

For the longest time you coasted through life, unaware of which direction to take and too scared to do anything with the advice you did receive from others.

I know that path well and I am so glad I chose to get off it. You can do the same but you already know that don’t you?

In my last letter we discussed **living your values** and how they shape your life by increasing your happiness levels.

Have you had a chance to reflect on that?

What thoughts popped into your mind and what action have you been inspired to take as a result of reading my letter?

Goal Setting

*I would like to suggest that the next step in your journey should involve setting the right goals, in the right order. This is something that people often claim to know or do, but they rarely set it up correctly. *****

Here is where you should start…

Break your goals down into three categories:

• Long term

• Medium term

• Short term

You should always be working towards your long term goal first and foremost. This drives your medium goals, which then shape your short term actions. Everything is linked and has a direction and a purpose.

To find your long term goal, look back at your list of values. Ideally your top 3 values should be what decides the launching point of your long term goal.

Take mine for example:

Top 3 Values

1. Service to others

2. Learning & Wisdom

3. Living a fun life

My long term goal is to have a thriving coaching practice, where I regularly work with clients who are struggling to live a meaningful, exciting life because they are trapped by Imposter Syndrome and they have zero confidence in themselves to reverse the situation.

Every client I work with teaches me something new and broadens my horizons, so my value #2 becomes achievable and because this coaching practice is ultra successful with lots of repeat custom, I am then able to afford to do loads of cool stuff in my spare time. So I automatically satisfy the third value as well.

One goal, three values fulfilled. Pretty cool huh?

During the ideation stage of defining my long term vision I keep in mind a few things and I suggest you do the same.

1. Use a traffic light system as you filter your goals through your values.

   1. A green light means that you should progress with your goal as it satisfies all of your values.

   2. If a light turns amber, then you should stop and reflect on what is causing your hesitation and consider how easy it is to solve that roadblock, so that you can move forward under a green light.

   3. Finally, you will of course encounter red lights that stop your progress completely. Like above, consider if you can solve the problem to progress to green light conditions. If despite your actions, the light remains red, then you should not set this a goal. Move onto another goal instead. Your life happiness depends on you knowing when a red light sabotages your goals. Read that again.

2. Keep your long term goal vague

   1. It is impossible to know exactly how things will shape up in 5/10/20 years but as you write a vague goal, your subconscious will try and fill in the gaps because it detests incomplete narratives. This gives you leverage because your brain will be working 24/7 to provide you with the lightbulb moments that make your HOW become clearer.

   2. As you start to write your medium goals, you can become less vague.

   3. Your short term goals can be written with lots of details - the more the better!

3. Is your goal selfish?

   1. Who else does this affect?

      1. Partners

      2. Kids

      3. Family

      4. Friends

      5. Colleagues

   2. All of the above people need to be considered when setting your goal. Look out for the red lights and consider if this is the right goal at the right time.

4. Any friction you feel when reflecting on your goal, should be removed or reduced to the bare minimum. Remember, this is likely to dominate your life, so you want it to be as fluid as possible.

5. Set your medium terms goals 1-3 years from now

   1. Make sure you are working towards some kind of milestone that provides an element of growth that you couldn’t achieve in just a couple of weeks or a month.

      1. Imagine training for a marathon - you would want to complete a 10k run first and then a half-marathon. Could you achieve that as a novice runner in a month (the answer is no BTW!). You build your fitness in stages. It’s the same with goals.

6. Your short term goals are the tactics you use to work towards hitting small incremental milestones. They drive your daily & weekly To-do lists.

I know this is making sense to you on some level and it is becoming clearer why your goals need to be driven Top Down.

Don’t make the mistake of starting by setting short term goals and hoping your life vision will manifest itself.

It won’t.

Read that again

I’m curious to know where your thoughts lie after reading this letter? What seeds have I planted in your imagination and what action do you need to take to let those seeds germinate?

I want you to know how proud of yourself you should be for taking the steps you’ve taken so far.

Keep persevering!

I am here for you whenever you need me.

Always yours,

Love

Older Tom x